Sunday, May 8, 2016

where was I before the day: some thoughts about my wife on mother's day

When you get married, you don't really know what's going to happen.

You stand at the altar, and you make the vows.  The highs and lows, the good and bad, from this point until we breathe our last.

In this way, it's no wonder that so many marriages falter when the unknown arrives.  How can you tell from a few dates who will make a good nurse when accident or illness happens, or a good teacher when the children have needs, or a counselor when your world falls apart?

Even those who live together for months or years before marrying end up surprised, more often than not, how difficult it is to navigate life's unexpected hurdles.

And what's almost worse than the pendulum violently swinging between opposites, is that only the mundane remains in the middle.  The drudgery.  The bills, the dishes, the laundry.  These soul-crushing realities are often harder on people than crises.

Can I admit something without seeming glib about how difficult marriage and life can be?  I am blessed beyond all reason to be married to Lindsey.

I am trust-fund-kid spoiled to have her as my partner in life, marriage, and parenting.

Our plans never included three kids in thirty-seven months, let alone the three major moves, seven jobs, or two miscarriages.

But, you guys, she's a champ!

It's easy for her to see the worst of herself in our kids, like when C goes on a malnourished-t-rex-style rampage through our home when she's tired, but she doesn't always know the things that I see.

I see C comfort N gently.  Not only that, but she actually anticipates N's emotions and tries to help her manage them.  "It's okay N.  Don't cry, N."

I see C becoming so helpful around the house and enjoying working hard to help all of the rest of us.

I see N, impossible as it may seem at 2.5-years-old, exhibit a wry sense of humor, complete with the best awkward arm movements and dances I've ever seen.

I see N absorbing information right behind her sister, unaware that she's not supposed to be "old enough" to learn the things she's taking on.

I see G smiling everyday like he's posing for the dustjacket for his autobiography Best. Life. Ever.

I see G respond to her call in our sometimes chaotic, noisy home, like her voice is the only sound he can hear.

There's so much more that I see but only so much I can write.

I see her fight through the days where she's so tired she can barely lift her coffee mug to her lips.

I see her hold her tongue when the orange juice is spilled on the floor for the third time that day.

I see her diffuse our girls' fears and frustrations like an FBI negotiator.

I see her carefully and lovingly prepare meals that won't be considered edible by the editorial staff of The Daily Toddler until slathered with ketchup.

I see her talk to our kids like they have the capacity to learn anything, instead of treating them like they're stupid.

I see her create days full of adventure that make it easy for me to put our tired hooligans down at bedtime.

This is only barely to mention the things that she does to make it possible for me to own a business and work across town.  Oh, and can I add that she's a stellar photographer who shoots with me in her "spare" time?

She makes me laugh, and she makes us all dance.  She's the glue in our family.

One of the best things about Lindsey is that she's completely, 100% imperfect at all of these things.  She loses her cool, and she loses track of things/times.  She let's days get away from her, and she sometimes chooses the wrong words to say.

Because of this imperfection, she oozes grace all over our home.  I see her apologize to our kids almost everyday, which teaches them how to apologize and forgive.  She changes yet another diaper, when it's surely my turn.  She sets our kids up to see, without a doubt, that God loves us and is for us.

Happy Mother's Day to the mother of my children, best friend, and most awesome wife in the whole world!


  1. I am glad to see you are so much considerate towards your wife. It shows how much you love her. She is so lucky to have you in her life.

  2. Surely, we are the lucky ones to have her.


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