Monday, March 23, 2015

an open letter to our friend Erin on the subject of Chick-fil-A's new Frosted Lemonade

It brings all the boys to the yard.
photo: Chick-fil-A

Dear Erin,

I write to inform you that last week Lindsey and I tried Chick-fil-A's new Frosted Lemonade.  By the company's own description, the Frosted Lemonade is a "handspun combination" of their lemonade and cloyingly named but nonetheless delicious "Icedream."

The reason for my correspondence is this: Chick-fil-A's new Frosted Lemonade tastes exactly like a milkshake version of the filling in lemon creme sandwich cookies!  (I was going to link to Target's Market Pantry Lemon Creme Cookies for reference, but tragically, they appear to have been discontinued or are only carried seasonally.  Rest assured, a sleep-deprived, slightly unbalanced father's rant about this injustice will come soon.)

I knew that you, as a fellow connoisseur of sandwich cookies, would want to be informed of this development as quickly as possible via a public letter on a crackpot's obscure blog on the internet.

Chick-fil-A has not yet started serving this wickedly delicious concoction sandwiched between two frozen chewy vanilla cookies as doing so would be direct proof that Chick-fil-A reads my diary er, dream journal, er, super manly notebook of deep thoughts and business knowledge.  But I presume that this is an eventuality, as I am quite convinced that Mr. fil-A reads my thoughts through the dead-eyed gaze of the cow mascots which both delight and terrify my children.

I have taken the liberty of posting a check in the mail to reimburse you for your front door.  No doubt, you have by now stopped reading this missive and crashed through said door leaving behind a cartoonish outline of your body as you beat a path to the nearest Chick-fil-A.  My sincerest apologies for causing this sudden bout of mania, but I could think of no gentler way to break to you the good news of this discovery.

You might desire to capture a self-photograph on your Apple Computer mobile device as you devour your first Chick-fil-A Frosted Lemonade.  Surely, you will want a record of the day your life changed forever.

Sincerely, Your Sandwich Cookie Loving Friend,

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