Wednesday, May 16, 2012

what I've learned as a new dad (#1)

photo: Raj Lulla Photography (please remember to remove children from clothing before sticking onesie in between drawers)

1. They grow really fast.
This is good and bad. Good because the difficult, still figuring out how to be outside the womb days don't last forever. Bad because my darling daughter is already asserting her independence and reminding me how much of my heart she has an how little control I have.

2. All babies are different.
Charlotte didn't even cry in the hospital and rarely cries at home. Our neighbor's baby cries a lot. A. Lot. Parents get the joy of both shaping who their baby becomes and getting to know this unique little person who lives in their house and drools on their stuff.

3. Babies like mommies better because they have the food and spend the most time with them.
Daddies have to wait their turn.

4. Let them cook as long as possible.
They seem to work better when they come out.

Charlotte was born at 41.5 weeks, and she's a baby genius who generally sleeps at night.  I imagine if we had let her go even longer she would've debunked string theory by now.

5. Babies are NOT cute when they come out.
They are a weird blue/green/grey/godzilla color when they are first born, and they usually come with a healthy smattering of what I call "baby cheese" all over them. They also commonly poop inside mommy before making their entrance. Birth is a real freakshow. On a related note ...

6. Jamming down a cheeseburger right before delivery is a very bad idea.
No matter how hungry you are.

7. Having a baby makes you want to buy every children's book and cute toy in the world, even if you can't afford them.
It also makes you use the word "cute" dramatically more often.

8. Having a baby is a lot like falling in love.
I loathe being at work away from her all day. I often contemplate quitting just so I can go home and snuggle her. I resist the urge so we can have a home to snuggle in.

9. Dads have to help moms fight "mom guilt."
It is instantaneous following birth and does not seem to go away. Even normal, previously sane women are affected by this psychosis. No, you are not a bad mom for putting her to bed in her room. She can't sleep with us forever, and I promise that it is very unlikely that a giant falcon will swoop through her window and carry her away.

10. Moms get crazy paranoid during the first month or so.
If your wife is expecting, expect to get woken up by the baby. Then, after the baby goes to sleep, expect to get woken up by your half-asleep wife who is panicked that she can't find the baby (who is asleep in the Pack and Play) next to her.

More to come ...

Any additions of your own?

1 comment:

  1. I love that you still have that dresser. :)


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