Thursday, May 31, 2012

advice for moms-to-be from a new dad

photo: Raj Lulla Photography

Pregnant ladies, before you tear my head off and use it as a very furry ice cream bowl, please remember that this advice was solicited on facebook by my friend Haley before she had her little boy.  Another friend found it helpful, so I thought it was worth posting here.

Most of this advice is straight up stolen, not even borrowed, much of it from my sister who has four children.

I wrote these things in a sleep-deprived stupor five days after Charlotte was born.  There were originally 18, but then my friend Tonia pointed out that I had skipped number 12.

Without further delay, here are 17 helpful tips for you ladies who are about to have babies:
‎1. If you're planning on breast feeding, get easy snacks like trail mix and granola bars, whatever you like, that can be eaten one-handed and don't need warmed up.

2. Put diapers/supplies in the two or three places you most often sit or sleep.

3. Butt Paste and gas drops. Buy them now.

4. Buy a night light.

5. Your milk doesn't come in for about four days. No one tells you this. Your baby will be hungry and fussy because of this. Good luck sleeping those first few days.

6. Babies get a weird rash from being exposed to all the new stuff. Don't freak out.

7. Epidurals are awesome. Don't be a hero. 
(Before you get all hippie-granola, please remember that my wife was induced.  If you can handle Pitocin-induced contractions without drugs, then you are an impressive she-Hulk that I never want to make angry, meet in a dark alley, or challenge to a pie-eating contest.)

8. Feed then sleep. Let your husband and whatever family do the rest.

9. Buy extra pad things for yourself for your ladyparts. The aftermath is not pretty.

10. Get a swing and/or a bouncy seat. Set everything up now.

11. Don't just be parents. Be married too. Don't forget about each other. Try to spend at least a few meaningful moments together everyday.

12. The first week flies by. Pay all bills, etc. beforehand. You won't get anything else done, and you won't want to.

13. It's all totally worth it.

‎14. Reassure your husband he's a good dad, and the reason he can't stop the crying is because God didn't give him boobies.

15. Sleep however works. Bed, recliner, couch, etc. Same goes for your husband.

16. Prepare to have your heart stolen.

17. Post pregnancy hormones are intense. Added with no sleep, you will feel like a crazy person.

What other tips would you add for new mothers?


  1. EVERY SINGLE one of these is 100% true. I can vouch. Great advice Raj.

  2. "Everyone will have their opinions on _everything_ (breast-feeding, formula, immunizations, nursery use in the hospital, diaper brand, diaper cream brand, etc), especially based on their own experiences be it positive or negative - and they'll be more than happy to share them, unprompted. Take everything with a grain of salt."

  3. Don't challenge me to a pie eating contest. I will win.

  4. and yes, I also strongly suggest an epidural for a pitocin-induced labor. Definitely the most terrifying pain, ever.

  5. Apparently my wife is a she-hulk :)

    1. That's scary. How long was her labor?

  6. I was induced and 18 hours later, 3 1/2 of which were pushing, my beautiful daughter was born. I would be DEAD if it weren't for the epidural- I was still a hero with it! :)

    Great advice, by the way!

    1. Wow! Lindsey's labor was about that long, but "only" an hour of it was pushing. Epidural women are still heroes. I only meant that there is no sense in attempting to endure unbearable pain just because you think you're supposed to.

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  8. Getting the muck off the stove in light of the fact that while mom was a magnificent house manager some time ago, she can't see the splatters of spaghetti sauce that has crusted over.


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